Waking Up by Hannah Denny-Collins Walking down the street is no longer such a peaceful process for me. I used to get greetings and smiles from everyone I met, now I get dirty looks from every pair of eyes I see and people whispering as I pass; they think I'm oblivious to everything around me. Turning down the rocky path, I feel nervous. I'm definitely not ready for this, but I know I have to do it, just like everyone else knows I have to do it. I go down the stairs that lead to the building in front of me. As I approach the row of doors downstairs, there appear to be mouths looking at me and screaming my name. I see the door I have to go through, I take slow, deep breaths, I turn the handle and I walk through the door to my first meeting with Narcotics Anonymous.∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞Thinking back to first time I took drugs, it was a hasty decision based on pressure from people I called my friends. It was the first time many of us had used illicit drugs, but none of us wanted to be left out while the others played a game called "Puff, Puff and Pass." Taking my first breath of marijuana smoke, I didn't know that I would fall into the world of drugs, no one knew. Coughing and spluttering on my first puff, the boys laughed hysterically, as if they normally had no one new around. As I inhaled for the second time, I made sure not to inhale too much, lest I completely embarrass myself. I think they were impressed knowing it was my first time. Then I accepted everything; I would do anything to fit in one place or another. That day, walking away from my new friends, I felt free and relaxed. It was very different from what I heard at home. My parents were at......middle of paper......d. In front of me, my mother made a comment about how difficult everything was with one daughter on drugs who did nothing to help herself, and another who is so angry at the world that she tries to get out of it by trying to kill herself. twice. This was a harrowing moment. It was definitely the beginning of me realizing that I was the mess in all of this.∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞After that night I started keeping a low profile and I tried relying less on medications. I wanted to take control of my life instead of being governed by something external. People I thought were my friends – my “drug friends” – began to question my behavior. In the end they gave up on me. But it didn't matter. I started to win back the people who meant the most to me. It took me a while to get enough courage to go to a Narcotics Anonymous meeting, until today.