Miriam, a main character in the novel A Thousand Splendid Suns, experiences extreme physical, mental, and sexual abuse from virtually every authority figure in her life. Using Hosseini's book and Erik Erickon's psychosocial developmental stages, this essay will explore not only the acts of abuse but their lasting effect on his behavior and self-definition. Say no to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on "Why Violent Video Games Shouldn't Be Banned"? Get an Original Essay Miriam's mother, after giving birth to her and spending the most consecutive time with her, influenced Miriam the most and established harmful thought patterns and behaviors that would haunt her for the rest of her life. According to Erikson, his mother damaged two important developmental stages in his life. The first begins at eighteen months, when the child tries to gain self-confidence and begins to feel ashamed. On the first page of the story, Nana expresses disdain, disdain, and borderline hatred towards her daughter by calling her a "clumsy little harami (bastard)"... "like she's saying a bad word". (Hosseini,4) She then repeatedly told her daughter that being a harami was so horrible that people would see her as a non-human or shameful person who should hide from society. This instilled in Miriam an inferiority complex, a sense of shame and anxiety about something she had no control over, her birth. Nana even states that it would have been better if Miriam's grandfather had killed them while Nana was pregnant, so Miriam wouldn't have to endure the shame and Nana wouldn't have to live with the bitterness and emotional pain caused by the illegitimate pregnancy. Nana's words become negative scripts that repeat in her head later in life when she leaves Herat for her new home, making it difficult for her to interact with others in public or enjoy her time away from home. The second stage occurs starting at age six, as Miriam begins to establish her ego and a sense of purpose, according to Erikson. However, Nana made fun of her son's existence, faith in his father and his stories, and his dreams of joining Jahlil's family. Nana reinforces these attacks on Miriam's ego by repeatedly ignoring her father's stories and replacing them with a darker reality that aims to destroy her father's place in her heart. Furthermore, she threatens her son's attempts at change, advancement, and purpose by threatening suicide if Miriam leaves her to pursue a life with Jahlil. However, when her suicide threat turns into a morbid act, Miriam is left with an emotional scar and sense of responsibility that traumatically impacts her self-esteem, plunges her into deep depression, and permanently cements the fury of abuse in her mind. of his mother. After all, it would be difficult to develop a sense of self, purpose, and ego if you believed your family thought you were a “pokeroot, mugworm”… “and you weren’t even born yet.” Although Nana was extremely abusive, Jahlil's lies, childish disregard for her daughter's physical and emotional well-being, and lack of ownership and pride in her daughter would prove truly detrimental to Miriam's growth and emotional development. According to Erikson, Jahlil is guilty of damaging two different phases of Miriam's life: identity and role confusion and intimacy and solidarity. Despite the fact that Jahlil only visited her once a week, Miriam's identity revolved around being her father's daughter and regaining her rightful place in the house ofhis father. She also created a rock game to allow her to visually represent everyone's place in her father's heart, so she could physically place herself with them. Because of Jahlil's stories, Miriam believed that he had once taken her to a spectacular place and treated her with love, pride, and belonging; thus, this fueled his belief that he would once again regain his place in his family and heart. However, by refusing to see Miriam when she came to visit and allowing her to sleep outside like a dog, he broke her heart and sense of self. By ignoring her emotions and physical safety, she has destroyed her identity as a beloved daughter or welcome member of her family. This allowed Nana's abusive labels and representations of Miriam's existence to take root and form her new sense of self. Thus, Miriam learned to define herself by the offensive statements of others. On a deeper level, Jahlil's betrayal and lies forever ruin Miriam's ability to experience intimacy and trust with men. Repeatedly, Jahlil makes promises he had no intention of keeping. Although the lies are intended to boost his daughter's morale and gain her favor, their lack of action proves detrimental to her self-esteem, as promises made to her legitimate children are kept. He had believed his illusions and lies; therefore, she wondered how she could ever trust a man's kindness or words again. As a result, she hides from Rasheed during the first little part of their marriage, avoiding contact as much as possible. Furthermore, he gave his father all the trust and love he had in his heart; therefore, when he married her to an abusive man against her will and without any consideration for her feelings or well-being, he severed her ability to freely give that kind of intimate love to others. This immortalizes her mother's threat that men are cold-hearted, dangerous, and cannot be trusted, thus causing Miriam much anxiety throughout her life. It could also be argued that she loses the ability to love herself, after her mother has shown continued contempt for her and her father has shown a lack of respect for her well-being, so one could easily see how she comes to distrust her own thoughts and self-love. . Perhaps this is why she finally agrees to marry Rasheed and doesn't run away despite his horrific acts of abuse. Resheed was the most disappointing and abusive person in Miriam's life, as his abuse was sexual, mental, and downright physical. At the beginning of their marriage, Miriam was guarded and wary. But, through kindness and patience, Resheed has earned Miriam's trust, respect and admiration. However, at the first test of honor, Miriam's abortion, he abandons all pretenses and reveals himself to be a truly violent man whose behavior spirals out of control. He is the second man in Miriam's life who spoke of kindness and made great promises but ultimately showed her only pain and anguish. Because she was still struggling with Erikson's stage of intimacy, she continued to make excuses for his behavior and constantly tried to please him. Unfortunately, his efforts result in horrific acts of violence, such as making her chew rocks until her teeth break and bleed or simply telling her how dissatisfied he was with her meal and life in general. Additionally, Rasheed damaged her ability to enjoy intimacy during their first meeting. sexual encounter and everything that followed. He didn't ask her if she wanted to have intercourse. He didn't ask her if he was hurting her. He simply forced himself on her, despite her>