According to Dweck, "Many students believe that intelligence is fixed, that each person has a certain amount of it, and that's it." All it really means is that people don't realize that you weren't just born good at something. Throughout my entire high school career, up until college, I always had a fixed mindset when it came to art, tests, and homework. Say no to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on "Why Violent Video Games Shouldn't Be Banned"? Get an Original Essay When it comes to art, I have never been able to say with any confidence, “I can do this.” Everyone in my class was better than me from a young age and I was told that I was simply better at reading when I expressed my concerns. I was always told that I simply had no talent for art and that was okay! I was a better reader! In the end my art projects weren't completed because I told myself I would be fine reading sheet music. I didn't have the art support that I would have liked to have. Dr. Dweck talks about parents making sure their children feel good about themselves. “In the 1990s, parents and schools decided that the most important thing for kids to have was self-esteem.” For me, this had some disconcerting consequences. Specifically, in high school, there was one test that tormented me all year. We had to create a small comic for one of the most important stories or books we have studied during the year. From Ulysses to Of Mice and Men, the class chose their own stories. Mine was Ulysses, one of the favorite people. That didn't stop me from believing I couldn't do it because mine didn't look as good as anyone else's. Even now, I avoid showing anyone my drawings when I doodle or draw because I feel like I have to compare myself to others, no matter how much effort and time I put into something. There doesn't seem to be any reason because I know I won't be that good. In stark contrast to my deficiencies in art, my test scores were usually high. I was praised for my high test scores even when I hadn't really studied. I got A's and B's on the tests with little to no effort on my part beyond basic revisions. I never learned to study properly because I never saw the need. It was never considered something important. As I got to higher grade levels, the tests got harder and I still didn't see studying as important. It hasn't been for so long, why would it happen now? I was so smart that the tests should have been easy for me. I learned the hard way in middle school that studying is actually more than as important as I gave it credit for. I started studying but kept doing poorly on exams. I started telling myself that maybe I wasn't as smart as I thought. My family and teachers told me I was doing better than my grades showed. The effort I made didn't make a difference. I was still told that I simply had to be better. Instead of helping me, it made me feel like I didn't have enough intelligence to do everything I was supposed to do. “It could tell them that intelligence is simply something you have and not something you develop.” This has become the mindset I have today when it comes to testing and studying. I can't help but think it's all for nothing. I want to change this mindset, and to some extent I have, but the fears and self-doubts persist. I can't help but wonder. Even now, as a college student who has learned about fixed and growth mindsets, I find myself wondering and doubting whether studying is worth it. I should just be good at it..
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