If we want to effectively deal with the anger of others in order to resolve the problem and maintain the relationship, there are some key strategies and behaviors we need to adopt. The best ("emotionally intelligent") approach involves a combination of communication and problem-solving strategies. This de-escalation process also has some steps that need to be followed sequentially. Say no to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on "Why Violent Video Games Shouldn't Be Banned"? Get an original essaySafety First. If you are faced with someone with out-of-control anger, first take steps to protect yourself from any potential violence (leave, go to a safe place, wait until your spouse is sober, etc.). Often, a “time-out period” reduces the level of hostility. If you remain in an unstable situation, the situation could escalate into violence, so the most rational thing to do, if possible, is to simply leave. This is not to say that you should never confront someone just because it would lead to a conflict situation. You need to know how you're going to handle that conflict, though. Evaluate the person you are facing and be ready to protect yourself, especially if it is a stranger. Defuse. To help mitigate the situation, try the following three steps: Look for the unmet need. Ask the angry person, “What are you mad at me for?” and listen to the expectation or unmet need. (Anger always implies a frustrated need or expectation.) The first step to defuse anger is therefore to make it clear that you understand what caused it. One of the best ways to do this is to paraphrase the situation to the angry person, without the anger. Therefore, a parent might say to an angry teenager: “Let me make sure I understand you. Are you saying you're angry because I asked you to choose between the school trip to Rajasthan and the rural camp?" This type of feedback clarifies the main reason for the anger, putting aside the mess like fumes on "You always..." and "Have you ever..." and "I wish I were..." With these factors out of the way, the problem takes on more real dimensions. Empathy is the key word in this process eyes of the angry person. Suspend all judgment. Be careful not to appear impatient or condescending. Here are some effective defuses: "I can understand your frustration..." -"I can certainly understand why this would upset you..." -"I know how much. it can be annoying..." -"I know what you mean; It happened to me and it can be very upsetting. "Remember: This is just an example. Get a custom article from our expert writers now. Get a custom essay In addition to empathy, you can also use sympathy: “I'm sorry you had a problem...” – “I'm sorry that this bothered you..." –"I'm sorry…”